We've had a large black snake living in the garage since we moved into this house over two years ago. I have let him take up residence there figuring he would keep the mice away. He also keeps my mother out of the garage. A few other females tread softly in there even though I tell them he is more afraid of you and he is a good snake. Well...that was until he moved his residence to the chicken coop and would curl up on top of six or seven eggs in the nest. The first time I met him I was trying to get well after three days of being sick and had been taking a nap. Nothing better than to be woken up by, "MOM, THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE COOP!" "Really? Really? I was sleeping so well." But the duties of a mom living in the country with a daughter raising fowl call for snake wrangling on occasion as I have learned. I am not into snakes and pulling one out of a coop and having to be in close proximity to the writhing beast was not what the doctored ordered. I am sure of that. I tried to wrangle him with a 1x1 that was three feet long (not nearly enough, but hindsight is always 20-20). He kept slithering off the post and getting back on the eggs. Now this whole time, Stella, our Black Star who chases our Golden Retriever, Bang, on occasion (a topic for another blog post), is standing in the next nesting box giving this snake what for. I am sure she was saying by her squawking, "Get out of there. I HAVE AN EGG TO LAY!" He didn't move and neither did she. She kept her front row seat while I extracted the visitor and then she promptly took her place in the nest and attended to her business. The snake on the other hand didn't want to cooperate and who would when you are sitting on your meals for the next week. He kept sliding off the stick so I had to grab him by the tail. Mind you all of this is being done with an audience of five (Anderson and Caleb were off at their classes and Matthew was inside taking a nap). This is when I discovered that three feet is not nearly enough for a snake that turned out to be five feet long at least. He kept wanting to slide up the post to my hand which meant I had to keep flipping the post like a circus juggler with one hand as my other hand had his tail. That day he was deposited in the garden about 50 yards away. I wanted him to clean out all of the field mice before I started cleaning up the overgrown garden for winter. Eight days later, he's back. Tried to teach Rebekah how to do it, but he is longer than she is tall. She was up for it, but he got a little testy after she tried a couple different handling techniques on him and so we let him go in the woods.
Yesterday, Kameron Barton, soccer player for my team and friend of Anderson and Caleb, was at my house getting a ride to the game. I asked him to help Isabel retrieve the eggs from the coop and to "watch out for the snake." I was kidding of course. Isabel ran ahead of Kameron out to the coop. Flew open the back door to check for eggs, stuck her little head in the door and then promptly turned to Kamerson with eyes as big as saucers and said matter-of-factly, "There's a snake in the coop." She then huffed and returned to the house to get me. This is not what I needed to do at 2:57 pm when I need to leave the house by 3 pm to get to my soccer game. Greta, who helps keep me sane at our home by doing my chores, even followed me out though she is not much on snakes. I took a rolling cooler this time so I could safely deposit him further from the house. We flipped the lid of the cooler open to capture him and placed it under the coop door. Kameron had a front row viewing. As I lifted him out of the coop though, the cooler lid closed. Now, I'm yelling, "Open the lid, open the lid!" Kameron, Greta or Isabel got the lid up only to have it fall again shut. Now, I am really wishing that I hit the restroom at 2:45 instead of leaving it to the last minute. Adrenaline rush and full bladder are not totally compatible. Kameron tried his best with a foot and then a hand to lift the lid, but said snake kept looking at him with eyes and mouth that said, "Put that hand and arm near my head by touching that lid and I just might bite you." Finally after what seemed like eternity, the lid was open and the snake was deposited though he tried to crawl back out. Lid closed and now Isabel and I journeyed across the street to release him to the great outdoors once again. Isabel was very excited to be able to go with me. Kameron and Greta were happy to stay at home. Greta and Kameron helped me strap in Matthew for the ride to the game and get all of my gear together and off we went.
7 pm, game is now over. I got home after Biff and lo and behold, the snake is back in the coop. Arrrgh! Biff captures him and then yells, "What would you like me to do, dear, this time?" I pondered briefly after thinking about all the plates I am keeping spinning in my life and determined this plate I can do without. At the time, I was also on the phone talking to the dad of one of my former players who now plays for Shenandoah. "Hold that thought, Bill,...KILL HIM," I yelled toward the back of the yard. Deed done. Pics taken. Camcorder shots taken of writhing snake. Now off to fix dinner. Rebekah then asks, "Can I cut him open?" "Whatever you want, just wash your hands well once you come inside."
Two days later, we left for the weekend to see family. I asked a friend to watch our dog and our chickens. This is the Facebook post that greeted me that weekend, "Okay, so I go over to my friend and neighbor's house (won't tell anyone it was yours, Sonya)to help put up chickens with three of my children and I'm taking the eggs I've collected in to put into the refrigerator in her garage and lo and behold there's the black snake she killed just the other day. Sonya, are we going to have a science lesson or a cook out?" So Rebekah wasn't done with her dissection. At least she thought to put it in a garbage bag and put it in the fridge in the garage.
